self-esteem

I hang out on Twitter a lot. I consume a lot of my news on the platform and I enjoy it quite a bit. I rarely get involved in anything and only tweet a handful of friends. For the most part, I am an outsider looking in. I like it that way. On Tuesday I read an article about Meghan Tonjes. She is a YouTube vlogger and artist. She, like a lot of us, documents her life on Instagram. This includes her weight-loss journey. When she posted a picture of her clothed derriere it was reported and as a result taken down by Instagram. For the full story click here.

After the video about her experience went viral something amazing happened and the bootyrevolution hashtag was born. The whole point of the hashtag, as I understand it, is to encourage women to be free and love their bodies no matter their size. Fat bodies have long been considered ugly and relegated to something that needs to be hidden from view. Fat women can’t exist.

Body-policing is the act of policing a body because it does not conform to social norms. I would argue that it involves a lot more than that as it includes making assumptions about a person’s health, eating habits, and overall personality. I have heard (and admit to being guilty of it myself at times) people remark, “She’s too fat to wear that.” or “If you’re that size you should not be wearing a two-piece.” and the perennial “She’s so fat it’s disgusting.” Additionally, this body-policing is generally skewed towards women.

When I hear friends and family members hate on their bodies I get sad. When I see young girls starve themselves because they want to be skinny like the girls in magazines I have a strong desire to do something. What can I do? I decided to join the #bootyrevolution by posting a selfie of my booty. I must admit I thought myself half mad for even considering it. Then I took a picture (or twenty) and wondered if it was worth it. Could I actually post a picture of my butt on Instagram? The internet is forever after all. After a few minutes of intense deliberation, as well as encouragement from a fellow booty warrior, I decided to do it. Why not flood the internet with pictures of bodies in all shapes and sizes? If women can look through these and feel empowered and comforted in knowing that there are other women like them out there then I want to be a part of that.

A question that kept nagging me was what would people think? I have friends and family that follow me on Instagram and they might not be aware of the point of the picture. Would they be offended? This, dear readers, is the question that really stuck out to me. The fact that I took their offense into consideration. Sure, I would never choose to offend the ones I love but my body is not offensive. And my booty is not for them. Who cares what they think? People post all sorts of things all the time and I am sure as heck they don’t give me a second thought when they do so.

With shaky hands I hit share and felt immediate and utter pride for having done so. I stepped out of my comfort zone. I put my professed body positivity into practice. I became involved.

Of course, men missed the entire point of the hashtag and used it as a mining tool for their own perversions. I am not here for them. I am not here to see pictures of their privates or to receive their accolades and innuendo. If you think that posting a picture of my rear invites these comments then you are part of the problem. Exercising free agency over my body is not an invitation to men to make lewd remarks. I have now experienced firsthand yet again how women are seen and treated as commodities and sexual objects.

Overall, sharing my booty has been a positive experience. I have learned more than I ever thought I would and have seen lots of beautiful women take the brave step to share their pride and love of themselves. That is a beautiful thing.

Battling the blahs…

One of the best things about staying home with Diego is that there is no dress code. We can lounge in our pajamas late into the day, and we often do. Days like that are fun, cozy and generally unproductive save for the bare minimum. I love those days. Now that I am not working I don’t have to get up in the morning and dress up for work. I dress differently now than I did when I worked at an office. When I go out I favor jeans rather than dress pants or skirts. I wear sandals or flats instead of heels.

The lack of a set routine does have its drawbacks, however. There’s a general outline of my day but there’s nothing I absolutely have to do by a certain time. In my case, too much freedom has resulted in a lot of disorganization. It’s something I’m working on. Being disorganized affects every part of our lives. Messy homes often mean messy lives. I feel a lot more in control of my life when my house is in order. I’m not saying I keep my house perfectly put together, but there is some semblance of order on a day to day basis.

Somedays I feel very blah about myself. I just don’t feel like I have it together and have zero desire to be productive. In essence, I feel lazy. How can we give ourselves a little boost on days when we just don’t feel up for much? I have found that sometimes taking some time for ourselves works magic. I’ve started to do my hair everyday. I have curly hair and I normally just tie it up in a bun or wear it loose. I never really style it and I don’t really like to straighten it. This week I started playing around with my hair and I’ve really liked some of what I’ve come up with. Amazingly, something as simple and as silly as our hair can really make us feel better about ourselves.

On days where I feel especially unmotivated I’ll even apply a little makeup. I have never worn a ton of makeup as an everyday thing but I do like to wear it. When I worked I wore some mascara and concealer everyday. I just feel it makes you look put together and helps to enhance your features. Now, I am just playing around with it and experimenting with new things. It’s been a lot of fun and best of all it makes me feel more productive. I can’t explain it except by saying that when we spend a little time on ourselves we feel good about ourselves and this translates into so many different things. Sometimes we feel tired and just blah, but a change of clothes can also mean a change in attitude.

My tips for battling those meh feelings:

Change your clothes! Are you unmotivated in your pajamas? Take a shower and put on something different.
Listen to music. A good tune can change your disposition. You can even use one song per chore. After a few songs you’ll have cleaned up an entire room.
Spend a little time on yourself. Grooming is important. Hair, makeup, eyebrows, nails. Remind yourself that you matter and are important. Whether you have kids or not this is something we should all put into practice.
Take a nap. If you’re tired and sleep deprived no amount of pampering will resuscitate you. If you can, take a nap, it will greatly improve your mood.

Here are three hairstyles I wore this week. They all incorporate a braid as a little accent. The pictures aren’t very good but hopefully they will give you an idea about how to style them.