Month: March 2016

Book Fridays: Change is coming

This isn’t a post about books but books are in my heart as I write it. That counts, right?

I accepted a job! After 4 years of staying home I am going back into an office. I am excited and nervous. How will I cope with so much change? I feel fortunate to have been able to spend as much time as I have with Diego but I feel that the time is right to move things along to the next step. We enrolled him in a wonderful preschool part-time at the beginning of the year. I was extremely anxious about it but a few months later I am now ready to hand him over full time. It is always a beneficial reminder that I am able to adapt and carry on. Routines change, as they must, and we find ways of making things work.

Child care is expensive. When we initially set out to find a preschool for Diego we were shocked at the cost. As I was searching for a job another horrifying question kept cropping up: how do people afford it? There are a lot of jobs down here that want to pay $10 or less. That is not enough to live off. After child care expenses it doesn’t leave much at all. And if you have more than one child you could see that entire paycheck go. My husband and I have no family nearby who could care for our son so we absolutely have to place him somewhere. When I started job hunting I was dismayed at the listings and how little they offered even as they required more than just a high school diploma. Don’t they know that we have student loans? It’s tough out there.

I was lucky to interview at several places and receive several offers. Some were not matches for me but yesterday I interviewed at a lovely company which I am very excited to work for. After a few weeks of endless scrolling, cover letter writing, and applying I am finally on the other side. I have a lot to do this weekend, plans to make, menus to plan, outfits to pick out. I have never worked and been a mom at the same time. I know this will challenge me and cause me to grow. Organization will be key in keeping me grounded and balanced but planning for all of that stresses me out. I’ve spent more time stating off into space pondering my list than actually getting things done. Tomorrow I hope to get my butt in gear.

As I wrote previously, my job search threw a wrench in my reading this month and I am not sure when I will get back into the groove again. I am going to return my two unread library books (as much as it pains me) and pick them up again at a later date when my mind is settled and I can enjoy them. I’m not sure when I will blog regularly again but I hope to not be away for too long (or at all!).

I wanted to take a moment to thank my neighbor who very kindly watched my son on two separate occasions so that I could go on interviews. I am indebted to her and so very grateful for her kindness and graciousness. Often it is when we feel most alone and overwhelmed that we discover people right next to us who make a difference and offer a helping hand. All we need to do is ask.

My friend Angela and fellow job hunter read over my resume and encouraged me to list all the things I do for my parents’ business on my resume. I had not thought to do this for some reason. Maybe because I do it from home and only for a couple of hours a week. Whatever the reason I was selling myself short. I believe that adding that to my resume is what got me the job. So thank you for being my cheerleader and partner in crime. Many a night we stayed up late sharing our job search woes and lifting each other up when one of us was down in the dumps.

My C-Queens and personal fan club, thank you for always being willing to listen and cheer me on. Thank you for celebrating every little thing with me. I love you guys so much.

And to my husband for being such a wonderful provider all these years.

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Book Fridays: Falling behind

After taking part in BBAW I found myself inspired. I had a lot of good ideas for my blog  and I was excited to dive into writing. As it often happens life got hectic and in an unprecedented turn of events I am now looking at the very real possibility of going back to work full time. I have spent the past two weeks looking at job listings, applying for jobs and even going to a couple of interviews. I am distracted, excited and anxious about these changes I am about to make to my life. My reading has suffered and even though I have plenty of books to talk about I find myself unable to find the words.

Blogging is something that I love and so I try to keep it stress free. Sometimes it’s just not happening and this is one such time. My mind is running constantly, obsessing over jobs I’ve applied to and hope to hear back from. I cannot quiet it down enough so that reading is a possibility. In turn, this lack of reading stresses me out as well. I miss my books. I am in the middle of Six of Crows which I am loving so far. I hope to pick it up again this weekend and get the ball rolling.

The prospect of going back to work got me thinking about how I will balance work, home, and books once I find myself employed. Of course I know that having a job doesn’t mean you can’t read but it’s been so long since I didn’t have all the time in the world that it scares me a little to think that going back to work means I will no longer be spending Wednesday afternoons at the library. The established routines around my reading habits will change.

My prediction is that it will take me a couple of months to find my groove. Perhaps it will take longer. I did not know when I would go back to work. I knew that I wanted to, eventually, but the timeline was fluid. The time feels right and so I am going with that. There is a lot to figure out and extra expenses to consider (enrolling Diego full-time at his preschool and getting an additional car for me) but things are happening. I’ve actually been taking steps which means that this isn’t theoretical. This is happening. Change is coming!

 

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