This one is for my radioactive pancake

Diego’s journey began more than a year ago. I can say without hesitation that this time last year I was feeling miserable and frightened. I felt so sick that I feared that I would never feel normal again. I fretted over never being able to eat and I grew increasingly concerned over my ability to provide a habitable environment for my baby. Times were tough and as I descended deeper into my pregnancy with no signs of my incessant nausea letting up I looked for ways to distract myself from my martyrdom. 

Sometimes when we are at our lowest a bright shining star emerges to light our darkness. I had a slew of friends and family sympathetically checking up on me and sometimes offering sage advice. One of my favorite people was my radioactive pancake. She knows who she is. She and I would have silly conversations about lots of things unrelated to crackers and ginger ale. I can’t even remember what we talked about but I do remember being up into the wee hours of the night talking about everything and nothing at all. 

She is much younger than I am but is so mature in her disposition that I often forget about the thirteen years that separate us. She is a kind soul, she would always ask me how I was feeling and showed concern for my unborn child. Such things are often beyond the scope of a fourteen year old but she has always harbored in her heart a deep and pure love that I treasure more than she knows. I am convinced that our late night shenanigans helped calm my mind and in turn fostered a calm home for Diego before we even knew he would indeed be Diego. 

When I think about those days I can’t forget my fellow pregnancy buddy who was often miserable in different ways and who commiserated with me on all things pregnancy related. We often drank from the same haterade cup and come to think of it we still do. I also can’t forget mom, in many ways she is my best friend and extension of myself. She is also the person who smacks me around and tells it like it is. She was the one to put up with my terrible moods at times (she spared you all!). I’m moody by nature so she is still putting up with me.

I could thank a lot of people for various things they gave to me when I was feeling like a fish out of water but this special post is for the one who sometimes needs to be reminded. That she is special, important, beautiful, and full of what matters most: love.

imageRadioactive Pancake and I a very long time ago 🙂