I had just written a lovely post wherein I was basically vomiting rainbows but for some reason it did not save into my drafts and I am now left without the pretty words I had managed to get down onto cyber paper. Oh well.
I do not make it a secret that I am not a child lover. Before deciding to have a baby I was undecided as to whether or not I wanted to have a child. Having a baby is a life altering decision that I did not take lightly. Aside from the huge expense, and insurmountable and unknown toll it could take on your body, it is the biggest responsibility one can choose to have. The scary thing about this is that it takes no skill to make a baby. There is no test or standard which one must meet in order to be deemed worthy. Any Tom, Dick, or Harry can decide to have a baby. Raising said baby to be a productive member of society is an entirely different issue and the one for which I sometimes wish people should be tested.
Children are messy, they will be naughty, they will try your patience, they will do things which will make you angry. This is all normal. Kids learn boundaries by pushing against them. They learn through experience. That is part of life. I love that about life. What I don’t love is the obnoxious child who is so due to laissez faire parenting. The bratty child who is rude to complete strangers and whose behavior goes unchecked will probably grow up to be nothing short of a crappy person.
The above is something I want to avoid. I don’t want to be that mother who loves her child blindly and is deluded into thinking he is perfect. I believe a mother can love her child while recognizing any issues and taking steps to correct them where necessary.
Perhaps it’s this neurotic way of thinking that was keeping me from taking the leap into parenthood. I decided that the fact that I care enough to think about it all meant that I had a chance of being a good mother. Am I? Will I continue to be? I suppose those are questions that will only be answered in time.
Thank you to my lovely sister-in-law who generously shares her talents with us.