My body

I don’t think a blog about a baby should forgo addressing the body that housed him. Most people are eager to get back their pre-baby body once said baby has been evicted. Not me. I don’t want to gain twenty pounds. That is about how much less I weigh. Now before I continue I would like to make clear my distaste for fat shaming, for anything that dictates what a person should look like, weigh, or how they should eat. My health is my business and anybody that polices my body will do so at their own risk. 

I am still overweight and I feel as though I have a long way to go in terms of getting healthy. Before Diego I led a very sedentary lifestyle. A leisurely walk with Scamp was the closest I got to exercising. I did not like what I saw in the mirror and I certainly did not feel good. 

My pregnancy was rough on me. I lost weight and then I gained weight. In total I gained eleven pounds. By the time I left the hospital I had lost those eleven pounds and an additional nine. So I left weighing less than I did before I got pregnant. I decided to take this as a starting point to make changes to my life. 

When Diego was about three months old I decided to join SparkPeople (or Sparkle People as I’ve been known to say) and I began tracking my food. I  also started going out for walks everyday. I walked for about thirty minutes. Some days I would walk a little more. The weather was still nice and Diego was happy to sit in his stroller. Some days I would go out twice a day. I was very committed. As the weeks wore on I started feeling run down. I stopped counting calories but kept my workouts. 

Now that Diego is weaned I am planning on becoming a little stricter in my workouts. It’s not without difficulty. He wakes up often during the night and I have a hard time falling back asleep after waking up so I end up getting very little sleep. Some days I just cannot imagine lacing up and going out. I’ve decided not to beat myself up for it. I was becoming discouraged that I was not making as much progress as I would like. I was failing to see that any progress is progress, that cutting down my time to walk a mile from 30 minutes down to 17-19 minutes is a good thing and that I feel much better in every way as a result of becoming more active. 

Another factor that keeps me motivated to continue my workouts is that having high blood pressure was no fun. I am an anxious person and I hated knowing that there was something wrong with me. Even though I knew that my severe preeclampsia would eventually resolve itself I was not prepared for what it entailed. It came on suddenly with no warning and it lingered. I never want to be on blood pressure medication again. 

I’m going to be brave and share the few pregnant pictures of me that I have. I took them all myself. The only ones I didn’t take were the ones of my baby shower but I look so awful, swollen and have a million chins that I can’t bring myself to share those. 

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Here is what my abdomen looks like now. I honestly almost can’t believe I’m putting this out there but if it helps even just one person feel better about their own body then it’s not for naught. 

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